Finding Who You Truly Are Beneath the Ego

by Jelena

Being must be felt. It can’t be thought. The Ego doesn’t know about it because thought is what it consists of.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Upon reading various books, especially ones written by Eckhart Tolle, I learned to understand that Ego is precisely that – our thoughts. It is genius in its manifestation, and it comes in many shapes and forms. If I am ever to reach a state of inner peace and calm and to truly know myself, I need to be able to separate myself from my thoughts.

There is a story of a high government official in Japan who went to see a Zen Master. He asked him:
“Can you explain to me what Ego means?”
The Zen Master said:

“What a stupid question that is – why are you asking me such stupid questions?”
And immediately the government official responded:

“How dare you talk to me like that? Don’t you know who I am?
And the Master said:

“That’s the Ego.”

The first thing I learned is that we all have an Ego. Contrary to what we were taught to believe, Ego is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if we do not understand the difference between Ego and Higher Self, then Ego can be dangerous and have full control over our thoughts and actions.

The Ego isn’t wrong; it’s just unconscious. When you observe the Ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it. Don’t take the Ego too seriously. When you detect egoic behavior in yourself, smile. At times you may even laugh. How could humanity have been taken in by this for so long? Above all, know that the Ego isn’t personal. It isn’t who you are. If you consider the Ego to be your personal problem, that’s just more Ego.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

In order to stop identifying with our thoughts, possessions, and acts, we can utilize our consciousness as a tool to avoid egoic tendencies. And with the help of meditation, we can slowly unveil and take off all those layers and illusions of who we are – go deeper within ourselves where we can discover the pure joy of being.

When we find our true selves, we no longer need to depend on other people’s opinions, attention or even love. We are enough.

Who are we?

There are numerous opportunities in life where we are meant to present ourselves in front of others. And many of us usually come up with more or less similar answers: I am a mother, father, doctor, scientist, YouTuber, blogger, wife, husband, colleague, athlete, Ph.D., Serbian, American…

However, can any of those concepts define who we really are? Are we more than just those roles? And if yes, who are we?

You get closer to knowing YOU once you realize that you don’t know who you are because you cannot identify yourself anymore with previous concepts and forms. You understood who you are NOT – you are NOT your nationality, profession or gender. That’s when you enter the unknown. Ego is constantly looking for self-definition: to remember who you are, what your story is, what your past is, where you come from, what your opinions are, etc. But if you can become comfortable with not knowing and needing to define who you are to others or yourself… then Ego will lose its power.

Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart shared in one of his interviews with Oprah how he felt when in a matter of months he lost both of his parents. When he attended their wakes, it became clear to him that those are just their bodies. Physical forms. The bodies themselves were never who his parents were. Who they were, their actual essence had moved on.

I think; therefore I am

If we observe our mind closely, we can notice a constant flow of thoughts. We are arguing, complaining, singing, criticizing, remembering things. All in our minds.

People who talk to themselves out loud are usually viewed as insane or “a little off their rocker.” It made me think, that voice in our head that constantly speaks to us, and who we tend to identify with… Is that who we are? And, are we less insane for managing to keep those thoughts for ourselves compared to ones who share them out loud?

I have noticed that if I give complete power to my thoughts, they always convince me that I am right. No matter what the reality is, my thoughts always have my back. But as I share those thoughts out loud with someone close, I see how little they make sense. So many exaggerations.

Life isn’t as serious as my mind makes it out to be.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

In the business of Ego

I completed my Master’s degree studying luxury brands. Our focus was on learning how to build a luxury brand and position it on the market so that both the quality and the price would reflect the authenticity of its story.

The key was to make the brand so special and dreamy that even people who couldn’t afford it, would still come to their flagship stores and buy products such as perfume, sunglasses or t-shirts with the brand’s huge logo on the chest so they could feel more special and part of the elite “club”.

As brand managers, we are building the image of a brand and creating a strong, dreamy narrative around it. A while ago, luxury brands didn’t want to have celebrity ambassadors because they didn’t want to have a name dominate the uniqueness of the brand. Now, they’ve updated strategy because consumers want to identify with celebrities and the brand’s story.

In so many cases you are not buying a product but an “identity enhancer.” Designer labels are primarily collective identities that you buy into. They are expensive and therefore “exclusive.”

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

And now, you may be wondering what all of this has to do with Ego?

I have, therefore I am

We are living in an era of consumerism. We tend to look for external products to compensate for something that we are missing within ourselves.

Paradoxically, what keeps the so-called consumer society going is the fact that trying to find yourself through things doesn’t work. The Ego satisfaction is short-lived, and so you keep looking for more, keep buying, keep consuming.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

One of many manifestations of Ego is that we have an urge to possess things. To call them “mine.” To separate ourselves from Ego, we need to understand that our possessions are not us. They are separate from us and they don’t determine our value or worth.

We are not better or worse by having a big or a small house. When we identify with our belongings, we develop fears and anxiety – what if this is not enough? What if I lose this?

Most physical things in life lose their value with time. We will always need and want more thanks to our Ego. If we don’t actively dive deep to find the intrinsic value and peace within ourselves, we will endlessly dwell on the shallow surface of who we are. Distracted by our Ego, we’ll hope to find something or someone to fill our void and make us happy, only to ultimately discover that there is no such thing. (Read my interviews with Dr. Loehr on the topic of The Psychology of success and How to find your purpose for more on this)

The unchecked striving for more, for endless growth, is a dysfunction and a disease. It is the same dysfunction the cancerous cell manifests, whose only goal is to multiply itself, unaware that it is bringing about its own destruction by destroying the organism of which it is a part.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

I am right, you are wrong!

Even if we let go of a need to possess and identify ourselves with things, the Ego is still going to live in us. As long as we think and have opinions, it will be there.

Most of us who decide to stop consuming animal products (including myself), start living in the illusion that we are right and others are wrong for not seeing the truth. So we try to prove our point by arguing with them and convincing them that this is the only way. In reality, by doing so we are creating the false image of superiority over them, and that is the manifestation of the Ego. It’s just switched its form. From one obsession we moved to another.

Making yourself right and others wrong is one of the principal egoic mind patterns, one of the main forms of unconsciousness. In other words, the content of the Ego may change; the mind structure that keeps it alive does not.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

I love to observe my children and their growth. In the beginning, they don’t know that it is not ok to take something from somebody without permission or to have an angry reaction if we don’t like something. They are curiously walking around and taking whatever they can reach to observe and test with their senses. We are the ones teaching them the “right” behavior.

I have noticed something with my daughter. Her natural reaction when her brother would tell her to stay out of his room and not play with his toys was to just walk away and do something else. She didn’t complain or have an angry reaction. She would find another object of interest and continue playing.

Afterward, I didn’t feel ok about my son’s behavior, and so I would talk with him about it and explain that he should try to be gentler with his little sister, how sharing is important, etc. The usual pep talk of a parent.

In the evening, in the conversations with my husband, I would reflect on her behavior and share how impressed I am with her wisdom. She cannot make him do anything, so she has accepted his reaction as it is, didn’t take it personally (since she knows they will play together later), and she moved on. If only we could be as wise as her not to take other people’s reactions personally…

However, in just a few weeks, her behavior in a more or less similar situation has changed. She now cries and shouts at her brother. She has learned to express herself in the same way as her older brother.

That made me better understand my own emotions and reactions. From a young age, I was told what is polite, rude, right, wrong, mean, etc. I’ve seen how people react to good and bad, so I have started doing the same. Most of what my mind does is automatic and learned behavior from childhood, but if I would take time to allow myself to feel and understand the root of my emotional behavior, I would never allow myself to react in such way.

That’s why I find it so necessary to spend time in silence and prayer, meditating and writing my thoughts. It has helped me find peace under all those superficial thoughts and formed opinions. It’s helped me to be aware.

I feel relief when I see my thoughts on paper. I know that those thoughts are powered by Ego and they are not who I am beneath it. I can see a broader picture, and be grateful for those moments of enlightenment.

The Greed of The Ego

Most Egos have conflicting wants. They want different things at different times or may not even know what they want except that they don’t want what is: the present moment. Unease, restlessness, boredom, anxiety, dissatisfaction, are the results of unfulfilled wanting.

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

The disproportion in the distribution of wealth that we see around us is all because of our greed. The greed of our Ego. Our constant need for more has brought us to the point where we have ones who have more than they need, and on the other extreme, ones who have nothing. We have low, medium and high-income families. Wealthy and poor. Famous and unknown.

During one interview, Eckhart was answering the audience’s questions. One lady shared how reading his book made her confused at this stage in life where she is excited about the opportunities and growth. The book made her believe that everything is an illusion and that she shouldn’t feel excited or want more. Is she supposed to not want a family, higher salary, more kids, successful career..?

He gave her a very profound but simple answer:

You are not meant to believe in all stages of life that everything is an illusion. I didn’t think this way when I was 25 years old and a student. You will eventually come to the conclusion that no form in life is completely satisfying as before. Until then, enjoy your life and be as present as you can. Don’t project yourself into a future moment that promises maybe greater fulfillment. If that happens, if you can’t help it, that’s fine too. But why not enjoy this moment as it is? It is not to take the joy out of life; it is to deepen the way in which you live. Rather than living on the surface of things and expecting fulfillment through relatively superficial things, going deeper where the joy truly resides. There comes a point when you can see it clearly in your life, but until then, the book is a concept. It is not meant to make you feel like that forcefully.

I guess this is the goal of our inner work. To connect with our inner being so we can fully understand what joy and satisfaction are. To feel gratitude for simple things such as waking up in the morning and being alive. To get away from the deception of our mind that makes us believe we are better than, worse than, or different than others.

To learn to love ourselves as we are. We are divine under all those definitions of the physical world. We are in peace and harmony because we belong to something greater than we can imagine.

When we decide to live a superficial life that revolves around how many likes and faves we have, how expensive is our house and car, how much money we have, who we know… we will condemn ourselves to the life of perpetual dissatisfaction, depression, shallow relationships, and ultimately an empty feeling of an unfulfilled life.

These are some of my notes from the first three chapters of the book “A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” by Eckhart Tolle. I keep coming back to it as it brings such wisdom and clarity to my life.

At the beginning of the year, Oprah Winfrey on her podcast SuperSoul Sunday started going through each chapter of the book with Eckhart. Every Monday they open a new chapter and answer questions by the readers. I have joined them, too.

Have you recognized within you what Ego is and its manifestations? Or was this article confusing and disheartening to you? Let’s talk about this more. Share your thoughts and opinions below. 

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Nono January 31, 2019 - 4:11 pm

Dear Jelena,

absolutely spot on, ego is a source of many conflicts on both outer or inner self level. When you say it is not necessarily negative, for example would you say ego leads to things like fear of others judgment, public speaking anxiety, low self esteem etc? Or rather wrong perception of ego (not knowing to be you)? Also agree with your view on possessions. It reminded me of this (one of many) beautiful ego-less gesture Nole had towards a fan, signing and handing him his own jacket (I’m so jealous! is that ego? lol).

Much love from France

Jelena January 31, 2019 - 8:12 pm


Well, not that I am an expert in this, I am a student too. I am still trying to better understand and catch Ego when in action.

From what I gathered:
Ego is our thoughts so it cannot be bad all the time right? Fears, control, anxiety, judgments, opinions… yes they are all Ego. The point is to not identify yourself with it – if you are angry, and if you would meditate on it, it will become clear that you are angry because of some perception or expectation or opinion that you had that wasn’t met. If you would also take a different perspective (not just your personal, as Ego wants) you would see that there is nothing to be angry about, and that actually you are fine with the situation as it is.
Lol, Novak is a very good example of letting go of his possessions – yes. But he has huge Ego, too! We all have. The point is to not fight it, just let it go… 🙂

Much love to you too!

Carrie Bauer February 1, 2019 - 5:57 pm

Dear Jelena,
I have been watching Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays for 7 yrs. The wisdom that is shared with us is so beautiful. Nurturing our souls is of utmost importance and with that we learn about the ego. The ego is interesting, isn’t? Our egos also need guidance and nurturing.
You told us about how Tara had reacted about Stefan’s rejection. She had a bruised ego, her importance in that moment mattered. That is fascinating how we can learn and grow, as she does, from those experiences. Another book series for you would be Gary Zukav’s Seat of the Soul books. They are a must for your journey. They go hand in hand with the beautiful Eckhart Tolle. He is a firm believer in authentic empowerment too. As first a follower of Novak, I am so thankful that my soul led me into your path of enlightenment. With your social media outlets opening, you will be able to reach more people and help with their soul journeys too. I am very grateful for you and you are showing all of us that you are so grounded and pure of heart. To share your stories and life with us, shows us that your Ego is as gracious as you are.
With love and light,
Carrie Bauer

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:33 pm

Oh my, Ego is huge topic for me. So much to learn, I think it is such a big part of my every day. I can notice my ego towards my kids, parents, husband… It is everywhere!

So glad you shared a book recommendation, I will look for it, thank you.

Thank you for your kind words. I am only sharing my journey and it is wonderful that it connects me with beautiful souls like you, and that we get to share more with each other. That’s how people are meant to communicate right? Through love, light, and respect.

Ah, so much to learn and practice… 🙂
Much love and light to you too!

Ana January 31, 2019 - 9:42 pm

When someone annoys me for no matter which reason and I go crazy and see only their negative characteristics(arrogant, snobish, stupid, disrespective, selfish..)and than I remember that we only see in others our own reflections. Boyyy do I feel my ego wiggling like a fish out of water in those situatuons.
“To be a bigger person skip the E and let it GO! :D”
I recommend reading the quotes of Rumi about ego..they are so amazing.

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:51 pm

hhahaah, I hear you Ana. I know that feeling :))) Thanks for recommendation too!

Daniela February 1, 2019 - 1:56 am

Hello Jelena I love what you write and I would like to tell you and tell you so many things but my english is bad. ?

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:50 pm

Much love to you Daniela! Thanks for trying!

DK February 1, 2019 - 7:26 am

You recently caught my eye. I think we are in similar circumstances and have similar approaches to life. This may be off topic but find myself curious about your degree in luxury brands. I’m sure you own many but there is a simplicity and humbleness in how you seem to present yourself and I adore that aesthetic. It helps that you are naturally beautiful but you seem to be much more comfortable with yourself than most women in the public eye or at least those married to men in the public eye. I haven’t noticed any blingy jewels, over the top hair and makeup or how should I say… “brand-whoring” … lol. I’m writing this like I’m talking to a close girlfriend… What I’m trying to say is you are refreshing and I would love to hear your thoughts on your on image.

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:49 pm

Hmmm, good question. Thoughts on my image?

I don’t know to be honest. I allow myself to do as I feel. I can afford clothes and brands, yes. But most of the times I don’t feel like buying or wearing them. I don’t think about “what am I going to wear” and I don’t enjoy packing for travel because it forces me to think about it, lol. I feel the best when I’m in my sweats, free to move.

I have respect for the brand building side of Luxury. I LOVE that. I enjoy creating a narrative for the brand, I understand the pattern, everything. Studying it was such a fun part of my life because it also helped me not to be consumed and dominated by luxury. I understood the dynamic behind and I respect it, but it doesn’t own me. I am free from needing it.

I don’t show up in clothes, I show up as me. That’s the difference I guess. But i do wear still some nice pieces, when I can connect with the story or something… I guess it is my Ego, I don’t know 🙂

Niv Kaplan February 1, 2019 - 9:33 am

Hi Jelena,
In my opinion, all this that you write, is true assuming one does not have survival issues; and many people do.
As long as you’re financially OK, and do not have to worry about the minus in you bank account every month, then you can indulge yourself with such matters as ego and self awareness. Unfortunately, most people struggle to srvive and do not have the luxury of dealing with their egos. In fact, some may survive because of their ego and many succeed because of their ego. I fully agree that ego needs to be controlled and we cannot allow it to guide us, but I guess it’s there for a reason…

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:41 pm

Thank you Niv. I understand your point. Thank you for sharing! Much love, Jelena

Claudia February 1, 2019 - 10:06 am

Loved your article! It took me years to understand what Ego is, but specially to understand my own Ego, still learning but almost there. like you I’ve read many books, I became a ceritified coach, I learned meditation, etc, etc….but for my surprise my biggest teacher has been my own soul… When I finally could listen to my soul, that day I could see the big difference between my Ego and who I really am.

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:41 pm

I know what you mean, when I finally “heard” the voice of my Soul, I was never the same… It is such a powerful voice…. We are blessed.

Viki February 1, 2019 - 3:53 pm

Hello Jelena!!! This is a very interesting post! Thank you for it! Love your work. Keep going! ?
Btw: as you wrote in this post that you don’t eat animals products, how many years/months are you plantbased? And were you a vegan during pregnancy? ?? i think it’s a great style for everyone! No matter how old you are. But i respect all people. No matter what they eat and i think that respect is a very important thing.

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:40 pm

Hi Viki! Glad you are enjoying the blog.

I am plant-based for the past 3 years and yes, I was also plant-based during my pregnancy. I don’t do it for the style though, it is more of a health-conscious decision that I’ve made after reading a lot about health and what gives us energy, vitality, and longevity. It works for me and I don’t know if it will work for me forever – I am listening to my body and the way I feel and that’s what guides me. It really is not about trends or anything, and I don’t believe in trends anyway. It is mainly because I want to maximize my health 🙂

Natasha February 1, 2019 - 4:56 pm

Upravo čitam New Earth i slušam podcast kad pročitam chapter by chapter. Tek sam na trećem ali već osećam da razmišljam drugsčije, vedrije. Neverovatna knjiga.

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:34 pm

Verujem, i ja se tako osecam! Bas divno da postoje podcasti da mozemo da ucimo i rastemo 🙂

Ap February 1, 2019 - 5:17 pm

Lovely and thought provoking article ! Ego in my definition is I , I , I …When the focus of an individual moves from I to we and then oneness in all – that’s when the real meaning of life and who we are actually emerges ! You are that and when consciousness becomes one with us – ego dissolves and the entire world becomes one!! Letting go of ‘I’ Ness in us is the real essence of life !!

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:34 pm

Yes!!!! So true!! Love this!!! Thank you!

Nata February 1, 2019 - 7:45 pm

Love and faith in God can give you inner peace. Serbia is proud to have its monasteries and saints. Those who didn’t visit our holy places, nor talk to any wise, calm, friendly monks and nuns full of love don’t know that. Love is the essence of life.

Jelena February 1, 2019 - 9:29 pm

Beautifully said.

Craig Woods February 1, 2019 - 10:10 pm

Wow, Jelena. I love Eckhart Tolle! The Power of Now, along with Autobiography of a Yogi are my top 2 spiritual books. My perspective and from an Ancient Yogic perspective is that there are actually two egos. When you were out in nature earlier or yesterday, and you stilled yourself to be fully in the present without any definitions, notice that your consciousness is still using the five senses and you still have an individual focus. This is the Divine Ego. The conditioned self, which Eckhart defines as the ego needs to be dissolved, and healed in order to embody our natural state more effortlessly.

This is a quote from the ego section in my book which I will send to your foundation next week:

“Most of the things we believe to be true about ourselves and the world around us are false notions we have unconsciously bought into from the minds of other people as we were growing up. This is the complete opposite of individuality, yet many define our social conditioning as our ego; see the contradiction? Our ego is our individuality and has nothing to do with what we’re told to be by others!

The ego is divine; the conditioning is not your true ego, it’s the shadow self, or rather, the person you believe you need to be in order to gain social acceptance. The true purpose of the ego is to focus your consciousness in the present moment; this is why the ego is synonymous with the five senses. When you truly become present, do you notice how your conditioning just falls away from you, even if only temporarily? This is the state of pure consciousness, but even in this state you have an individual focus; this is the divine or true ego. Important decision making should come from the higher self which is synonymous with your intuition, or feelings that arise from the heart, as intuition is the language of the soul. We create much turmoil for ourselves when we allow the false expectations and fearful assumptions that stem from our shadow self to influence and dictate how we believe our life should unfold. It would really benefit us to drop all of these false notions and allow life
to simply work for us by letting go and embracing the unknown in the present moment.”

It was touching to read about your observations with your kids, and how your daughter didn’t react or respond to her older brothers behaviour. I believe the spiritual path is about getting back to that state before this world forced us to conform with its ways. Our Innermost child is our true self.

Thank you for sharing your light and joy with the world. God Bless you, Sister.

─Craig Woods

Kristina Lalova February 2, 2019 - 1:49 am

Hi Jelena,

This is a very enlightening article. It is true that we all have ego which we express through our thoughts and opinions. If we consider that our thoughts are our ego, then ego is what makes us human. On many occasions in my life I have felt that I have manifested my ego, especially in my relationships. But I have learnt that I cannot control other people’s actions, feelings or emotions. I can only attempt to control mine and be the best version of myself. Before I would often overreact and be too emotional, while now I take a deep breath and move on. I know that my opinion is just an opinion, just like everyone else’s. Therefore, I try to overcome my ego, understand that I am not all-knowing and focus on my own spiritual learning and growing. Ego will always be a part of us. Nevertheless, there is really something greater than this material world that we are living in. This something is inside all of us and is called love. If we look past our differences, we are all the same and we all have light and love that help us overcome greed which causes poverty, wars and many other issues which we are witnessing these days. I will definitely read Tolle’s book and thank you for sharing!


Donna February 2, 2019 - 3:34 pm

Jelena-Scrolling through Instagram, I stumbled on your page and have since been reading your blog about Efo. First, thank you for being so transparent, real and vulnerable. I also briefly read your blog about the book you’re reading (or read) about parenting and you shared how the message resonated with you — well, that’s exactly how I felt reading your Ego blog. As I’m reading, I’m thinking, Yes, that’s me!!!!
So, again, thank you! And finally, I’m a huge Tennjs buff and a big fan of Novak—- it’s apparent you are a huge part of his success – which he so eloquently stated in his talk after winning the Australian Open!!
Many blessings to you!

Donna Easterly

Michela February 2, 2019 - 5:52 pm

Ciao Jelena, I tuoi consigli sono preziosi, tu sei una giovane donna intelligente e aperta ai problemi quotidiani di qualsiasi persona, sei semplice e diretta. Io sono una donna non più giovane e a questo punto della vita penso di non averlo proprio un ‘ego’, nel senso che sono più attenta alle necessità altrui e contenta di quello che sono o che ho (questo forse è ‘ego’) non lo so, ma non mi curo dell’apparenza (questo non l’ho mai fatto) e non critico le scelte altrui, anche se, con i miei figli, esprimo la mia opinione. Sto seguendo i tuoi consigli per liberare un po’ la mente ma non è facile, intanto ho cominciato ad eliminare alcuni alimenti e mi sento già meglio, e questo è merito tuo, grazie Jelena

Michela February 2, 2019 - 6:03 pm

* Your advice are precious, Jelena, not mine.

Viktorija February 2, 2019 - 8:33 pm

Thank you very much for this inspiring post! It is a great example of praxis.
Many people learn something theoretically and stay there, and you show what studying really means-to read, to assimilate and to reflect (on your own examples).
I have studied ego too and the most challenging thing for me is to recognize an ego in “daily life”. I understood that ego has few characteristics:
1) Ego looks for security. The more security it seeks the more unsafe it feels
2) and because it feels unsafe it tries to take control
3) and when it takes some control, it will start to valuate (e.g. luxury products, big or small house, I am right because I am vegetarian)
4) ego exists in the state of disconnection
Disconnection, security, control and valuation are helping me to recognise the ego. That is the firs step.

Srdacan pozdrav,

Aida February 4, 2019 - 8:38 am

Draga Jelena,
odusevljeno sam citala.
Covjek stvoren sa svojom dusom/a i egom je stvoren da robuje, samo problem nastaje kada robuje pogresnom/materijalnom… ostaje nam nasa svakodnevna borba sa sobom i blansiranje, da smo usmjereni na pravi put, da se gradimo i rastemo u svim segmentima zivota.

Ivana January 10, 2021 - 3:47 am

Draga Jelena,
Primetila sam negativne stavove o tebi u javnosti. Ljudi ne vole zene koje zele da pametuju. Mozda sam bila i na ivici da poverujem da ti radis nesto pogresno. Da bi trebala da budes ono sto svi zele a to je tipicna zenica jednog junaka. Medjutim ja puno citam i ovo je jedan od najboljih online clanaka koje sam procitala u poslednjih 12 meseci. Ti zaista imas sta da podelis sa drugima. Samo nastavi odlicno je.

Julia February 4, 2019 - 4:27 pm

Dear Jelena,

I very appreciate your post on the human ego and would like to add my 2 cents, based on what I have observed on my journey to living my soul purpose and uncovering who I really am:

I haven’t studied Eckhart Tolles book (yet), so without discrediting his approach, for me, thought does not equal EGO. Thoughts per se are neither good nor bad. Thought is a creative force, enabling us to manifest and create in the outer world, what’s within us. I mean, not every thought comes from the ego. I would rather differentiate between thoughts created by the ego, and thoughts coming from our highest self/intelligence/soul (whatever label you want to put on).
– I agree, the truth is neither black nor white, even the ego might have some purpose. However, I firmly believe that ego-thoughts have a low vibration, keeping us in a state of low self-worth, worry, anxiety etc.. and separating us from the divine being that we actually are.
– When thoughts are coming from our highest self, this is our soul talking to us! They are guiding us to align with our soul purpose, to live in the flow and to co-create a life filled with joy, love and peace.

We don’t experience a situation, we experience the thoughts and feelings we have regarding the situation. In other words – you AREN’T your thoughts, you only HAVE thoughts! Thoughts are just thoughts. As fast as they appear, they can disappear – and you have the power to decide which thoughts you hang on to, and which ones you let go, just as quickly as they pop up in your mind.

In the end, it does not matter how we label it. What has proved helpful to me in order to live from a place where I feel deeply connected with my soul, is to rise above low-vibrational thoughts and feelings, instead of “standing under” them by trying to “under-stand” them, where they come from and so on.

Keep up the great work, you and your husband are the kind of role models the younger generations need ❤️

Tyler April 14, 2021 - 8:41 pm

stop identifying yourself with your ego and the things you own. stop identifying your self with the roles you play in society in order to find your true self. this and letting go of attachment will end the suffering. this is exactly what the movie Fight Club is about. Millions of people love that movie but they don’t know how come. their subconscious mind knows the real reason. that’s why they love it. Tyler Durden is the manifestation of the narrator’s subconscious mind who shows his conscious mind, what he needs to change in his life to end the suffering which was a result of that behaviour. there are countless hints in the movie for the process of awakening and enlightenment, caused by mental suffering.

Marco Di Mauro June 12, 2021 - 6:31 am

Hi Jelena,

I have just watched your husband playing and winning in the Roland Garros semi finals. Congratulations! I saw you cheering at at the top points. And congratulations to both players by the way for such an impressive feat (I just watched a summary). That is just to say that while watching, it reminded me of you mentioning meditation and the ego in this post which I had saved almost two years ago, so went back to it and re-read, and found it still resonates. I find a lot of wisdom in your words and reflections, even though they are just thoughts, but maybe these thoughts are coming from your deeper levels…
All the Best

Tara May 2, 2022 - 9:46 am

3 years later but this just clicked for me. I was trying to explain my reasoning about a situation at a new job recently to a supervisor. Things were not clearing up at all And I realized the supervisor had no intent on hearing me. It was in that moment that I understood my ego was trying to explain this and only making matters worse. Before this moment I thought of ego as something bad. Something restrictive and harmful in the sense of closed mindedness. But it’s occurred to me that That’s not my ego. Not so much anyways. My ego needs to be understood and will spend hours trying to get some one to see things from my pov so they can understand me and why I feel the way I do about something. Turns out I was just making things worse. That’s my egos style and its dangerous for me because it’s not seen as egotistical though it is.

Nadia Damilano November 4, 2023 - 9:50 pm

Sera Jelena
I enjoy what you write a lot. I’m positivly surprised to read in your blog things that i have been studying and living for the last 28 years. After my phd i left the work as a researcher in physical chemistry as I understood it was far more important to dedicate my self to inner research, trying to find Who I was, in depth. It has been a wonderful journey shared with my husband. Through meditation and exerciting presence my mind has become Very light, Very thin and much less conditioning. The journey still goes on letting the heart opening more and more.
In this path the most challenging experience was having a son: as you say they are our masters, they teach as so much about life and they are the key to overcome our ego. Definitely the best growing tecnique at all.
So I was pleased to read your thoughts, to see that you know Very well Eckhart Tolle Whom I like a lot. I suggest you writings and video conferences of Rupert Spira and Erik Baret, that I consider hugely inspiring.
I wish you and your family the best for your personal path of inner research.


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